Betrayal

Most of the time when someone talks about betrayal its usually the ones coming from their friends and family that cuts the most. I've had my fair share from them, to the point when life forces you to open your eyes, it makes you understand just because you have belief in someone it doesn't mean they won't hurt you, in fact you turn into the little lamb who just handed the butcher an axe with your name engraved on it. But ironically enough, after being let down by so many "friends", the betrayal that hurt the deepest came from myself.
Under the pretense of friendship, a poisoned apple offered to a man starved. Naturally if I were to talk about it, everyone would call me a true friend. I put myself on the line, I suffered monetarily, physically and emotionally for a "friend". I did what everyone else dare not do for fear of implication.

Yet to me it is all nothing more than a betrayal, because all I did, I did for reasons other then what others believe. I did all I did in directing a "friend" from a path of damnation with nothing but betrayal in my heart in hope of gaining something that should not belong to me. All because I felt clearly that which I desire was mine for the taking.

I didn't realise what I did until now, almost two years after its over, having convinced myself so thoroughly I was doing it for my "friend's" good. In these three months of reflection, once it got quiet enough to think with my heart,I finally realised what kind of a person I am and what I did after years of denial.

And hopefully after letting all these out, I would eventually be able to to forgive myself for what I did.